At first, I had forgotten these awards were last night (you see, we had a BRAZILIAN show nominated for International Emmys, so our national media did tend to promote these awards instead of AMERICAN Music’s – just to blame someone other than me, for not playing the aficionada role properly). Well, having already lost two major ceremonies these past months, I should just put my game face on and start working on my tweets!
On the red carpet, many weird things that THANK GOD don’t stand south of the Equator. I mean, Mike The Situation??? Is it a real person? Jennifer Hudson (g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s) and Matthew Morrison, though, always have me at ‘hello’.
My hopes were for recognizing old faces, and getting acquainted with some new people (and tunes) so that I wouldn’t accidentally say to anyone on my next trip to the States, “Oh, you’re famous, right? Sorry, I don’t give a sh*t about you”… KKKK. Surprisingly enough, I found out that I was a true oracle for the AMAs!!! Basically, if I knew an artist, chances were he or she would get the prize. On categories such as Pop-Rock Band/Duo/Group (Maroon 5), Country Female Artist (Taylor Swift), Rap/Hip-Hop Artist and Album (Nicki Minaj), Superstar Country Duos (Lady Antebellum), Favorite Male (Bruno Mars) and Female (Adele) Artists, I nailed all the winners.
I then started prophesying that Justin Bieber, Adam Lambert, Chris Daughtry, Enrique Iglesias, David Guetta would totally win it. The Band Perry, as I’d never heard of them, didn’t stand a chance. I had it 100% figured out.
After an almost-awkward moment between Chris Brown and Rihanna, the other ex-couple attending the event had their time. Jennifer Lopez was absolutely stunning in her many looks (specially the black lace one), while Marc Anthony stood there, weasel-like… well, he’s Marc Anthony. I bet she went away for some long minutes of nose-powdering when he took the stage. Go J-lo! Even though she had some lip-sync going on to Kaoma’s greatest hit (“Chorando se Foi”, an all-time Brazilian classic), she was the most beautiful woman of the night. Runner-up was Beyoncé.
Special Achievement Kate Perry looked like a cute strawberry pudding. I may or may not be foreseeing things but Russell Brand wasn’t there to applaud her. So sad. Nevertheless, Jessica Rabbit – oops, Kelly Clarkson – cared to make an appearance.
A question, before the night ended: WTF is LMFAO? Laughing My Fuckin’ Ass Out Loud? And those outfits they wore, come on, made me feel like my ‘Happy” panties are in again.
My only criticism is that, once again, Taylor Swift IS NOT the best American Artist! She’s a (talented, OK) teenager, for Christ’s sake! I miss the good old times, when the Artist of the Year went to, uhm, like, Cher, Jackson or Madonna. Seriously: Adele and Gaga are more complete and complex, as musicians, than our little friend blondie.
That’s life. Youngsters will conquer the world.
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